Dear Readers,
I want to take this opportunity to wish all of you and your loved ones a very happy holiday and to thank you for your continued interest in our blog. Our subscribers are growing daily from all parts of the world and I truly enjoy hearing from each and every one of you. I encourage you to continue submitting your questions and comments and we will continue to bring you relevant and beneficial information. We will be back after the holidays with all new topics that I am certain you will find interesting.
Once again, thank you for your interest and I look forward to hearing from you in the new year.
Warmest wishes,
Debbie
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Diversity in Our Ever-Changing World
There is so much written and discussed about the topic of diversity but then I also hear of women’s initiatives and other affinity groups. Don’t all of these groups fall under the diversity umbrella? I would appreciate an overview of diversity and what it means in today’s workplace.
The short answer to the first part of your question is yes, all of the various groups you refer to are a part of a diverse workplace and are representative of a particular group that contributes to that diversity.
Let me give you the overview of diversity that you asked about which I think will help you better understand when and how the term is used.
We can break diversity down into two categories, or types, that are present in today’s workplace - vertical diversity and horizontal diversity. Vertical diversity refers to the wide range of ages in the workplace, with four generations working alongside each other, and horizontal diversity refers to all other types of different groups to include those of various races, cultures, genders, sexual orientations, and religious beliefs.
The important thing to know and understand about diversity is that it enriches our lives, both professionally and personally. It brings such different backgrounds and perspectives together, and it creates synergies that otherwise aren’t generated. This results in greater ideas and increased creativity to all settings and in all situations.
Many studies have proved that when diversity is embraced and celebrated, organizations are higher performing, more profitable entities as a result. Diversity contributes just what it implies, a diverse range of perspectives and ideas, that ultimately better serve the world.
The short answer to the first part of your question is yes, all of the various groups you refer to are a part of a diverse workplace and are representative of a particular group that contributes to that diversity.
Let me give you the overview of diversity that you asked about which I think will help you better understand when and how the term is used.
We can break diversity down into two categories, or types, that are present in today’s workplace - vertical diversity and horizontal diversity. Vertical diversity refers to the wide range of ages in the workplace, with four generations working alongside each other, and horizontal diversity refers to all other types of different groups to include those of various races, cultures, genders, sexual orientations, and religious beliefs.
The important thing to know and understand about diversity is that it enriches our lives, both professionally and personally. It brings such different backgrounds and perspectives together, and it creates synergies that otherwise aren’t generated. This results in greater ideas and increased creativity to all settings and in all situations.
Many studies have proved that when diversity is embraced and celebrated, organizations are higher performing, more profitable entities as a result. Diversity contributes just what it implies, a diverse range of perspectives and ideas, that ultimately better serve the world.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Avoiding a Hostile Workplace
As a manager, I have had repeated complaints from employees about a fellow employee telling offensive jokes. Sometimes they are just overhearing them but are nonetheless still offended. How do I approach this employee when many of the complaints are based on hearsay?
This is another great question and one that is so very important for you to understand how to handle as a manager/leader. This one can get you into lots of trouble and can create additional problems if you do not handle it correctly.
The first rule-of-thumb as a leader and a manager who is responsible for people is that once you have knowledge of an issue, you basically own that issue and must take the appropriate action to correct things. In this case, when an employee is offended by something that another employee is saying, your workplace can potentially be deemed a hostile work environment. This is one in which all employees do not feel comfortable and may even feel threatened. Now that you have knowledge of this, it is your responsibility as the leader to remedy this situation swiftly and decisively.
When you receive a hearsay complaint such as this, you will need to investigate. Start by asking the complainant for their side of the situation, asking them if they did, in fact, tell what could be offensive or inappropriate jokes in the office. Make it clear that this behavior is inappropriate for the workplace and that they should immediately stop the practice of telling such jokes. Usually, this is all it takes to stop the offensive language; however, I would suggest you take it a step further. Take this opportunity to look at what training, if any, your employees have had in this area. I’m willing to bet that your company/organization has an acceptable conduct policy and if so, has everyone signed off on that policy? If not, make sure they understand what is acceptable and what is not, and have them sign statements that they have read and understand the conduct policy.
If there is a dispute over what the two individuals, the complainer and the complainant, are telling you and/or you have already done all of the above, then you should seek out other employees for written statements. Once you determine that the employee has indicated an understanding of the acceptable conduct policy and has chosen to violate it, then you must take immediate action to discipline and perhaps even remove the employee from the workplace, depending on the level of the complaint.
This is another great question and one that is so very important for you to understand how to handle as a manager/leader. This one can get you into lots of trouble and can create additional problems if you do not handle it correctly.
The first rule-of-thumb as a leader and a manager who is responsible for people is that once you have knowledge of an issue, you basically own that issue and must take the appropriate action to correct things. In this case, when an employee is offended by something that another employee is saying, your workplace can potentially be deemed a hostile work environment. This is one in which all employees do not feel comfortable and may even feel threatened. Now that you have knowledge of this, it is your responsibility as the leader to remedy this situation swiftly and decisively.
When you receive a hearsay complaint such as this, you will need to investigate. Start by asking the complainant for their side of the situation, asking them if they did, in fact, tell what could be offensive or inappropriate jokes in the office. Make it clear that this behavior is inappropriate for the workplace and that they should immediately stop the practice of telling such jokes. Usually, this is all it takes to stop the offensive language; however, I would suggest you take it a step further. Take this opportunity to look at what training, if any, your employees have had in this area. I’m willing to bet that your company/organization has an acceptable conduct policy and if so, has everyone signed off on that policy? If not, make sure they understand what is acceptable and what is not, and have them sign statements that they have read and understand the conduct policy.
If there is a dispute over what the two individuals, the complainer and the complainant, are telling you and/or you have already done all of the above, then you should seek out other employees for written statements. Once you determine that the employee has indicated an understanding of the acceptable conduct policy and has chosen to violate it, then you must take immediate action to discipline and perhaps even remove the employee from the workplace, depending on the level of the complaint.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Delegating Effectively
Delegating
I have just been promoted and am working on delegating more to my team. How do I give up the need to control every assignment and trust the job will get done?
Understanding and learning how to effectively delegate is a critical leadership trait that all new managers must hone -- and as quickly as possible!. Notice that I use the word ‘effectively’ because like every other skill, you must learn how to effectively use this one for your maximum advantage. Delegating is extremely important to your success for two main reasons: your own time management, and the development of those for whom you are responsible. For many people, learning to delegate and to let go is a challenge.
Start out with smaller, maybe less important tasks that you feel more comfortable delegating, and that won’t stress you out if they aren’t completed exactly to your satisfaction or on time. When you first begin to delegate, you will likely fight the urge to micro-manage the details and this is where you have to really work on yourself. Set reporting timelines for your subordinates to submit progress updates on specific tasks. Hold regular conference calls with your team so you can gauge the overall progress when you have many things going on at once, which you will as you move up in your responsibilities. As with any new skill you are learning and developing ,there is initial discomfort when you practice it. This is because you are stretching yourself and going out of your normal comfort zone. Discomfort is okay and is to be expected.
Remember back to when you were in an individual contributor role and how you felt when you were given an assignment, especially one that was new to you. You may have been slightly apprehensive but you were most likely proud and rewarded that your boss had the faith and confidence in your abilities to give you such an assignment. This boosted your self-confidence and ability to take on even more responsibilities. This will be what you are doing when you dole out those delegated assignments, not to mention the fact that you are getting the work done through many channels which is great for your overall team development.
Last, and just as important, I suggest you look around at your team and ensure you have the right people in the right job assignments. If you don’t, then make the necessary changes to get the right people in place. This is a mistake that many managers make when they let too much time go by before making what can be tough decisions. Once you do this you should be confident in the fact that your individual team members are more than capable and ready to take on each and every assignment, growing in the process.
Now . . . go delegate one task! Good luck!
I have just been promoted and am working on delegating more to my team. How do I give up the need to control every assignment and trust the job will get done?
Understanding and learning how to effectively delegate is a critical leadership trait that all new managers must hone -- and as quickly as possible!. Notice that I use the word ‘effectively’ because like every other skill, you must learn how to effectively use this one for your maximum advantage. Delegating is extremely important to your success for two main reasons: your own time management, and the development of those for whom you are responsible. For many people, learning to delegate and to let go is a challenge.
Start out with smaller, maybe less important tasks that you feel more comfortable delegating, and that won’t stress you out if they aren’t completed exactly to your satisfaction or on time. When you first begin to delegate, you will likely fight the urge to micro-manage the details and this is where you have to really work on yourself. Set reporting timelines for your subordinates to submit progress updates on specific tasks. Hold regular conference calls with your team so you can gauge the overall progress when you have many things going on at once, which you will as you move up in your responsibilities. As with any new skill you are learning and developing ,there is initial discomfort when you practice it. This is because you are stretching yourself and going out of your normal comfort zone. Discomfort is okay and is to be expected.
Remember back to when you were in an individual contributor role and how you felt when you were given an assignment, especially one that was new to you. You may have been slightly apprehensive but you were most likely proud and rewarded that your boss had the faith and confidence in your abilities to give you such an assignment. This boosted your self-confidence and ability to take on even more responsibilities. This will be what you are doing when you dole out those delegated assignments, not to mention the fact that you are getting the work done through many channels which is great for your overall team development.
Last, and just as important, I suggest you look around at your team and ensure you have the right people in the right job assignments. If you don’t, then make the necessary changes to get the right people in place. This is a mistake that many managers make when they let too much time go by before making what can be tough decisions. Once you do this you should be confident in the fact that your individual team members are more than capable and ready to take on each and every assignment, growing in the process.
Now . . . go delegate one task! Good luck!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
A Thanksgiving Message
Dear Readers,
Thank you for your interest in, and support of, our blog as we continue to grow in readership. I will continue to answer your questions, posting relevant and beneficial information that will support your professional development.
We will be back next week with all new topics that I am certain you will find interesting.
In the meantime, we wish all of you and your loved ones the happiest of Thanksgiving holidays!
Debbie
Thank you for your interest in, and support of, our blog as we continue to grow in readership. I will continue to answer your questions, posting relevant and beneficial information that will support your professional development.
We will be back next week with all new topics that I am certain you will find interesting.
In the meantime, we wish all of you and your loved ones the happiest of Thanksgiving holidays!
Debbie
Monday, November 14, 2011
Popular Posts
Dear Readers,
Out of town on business this week, so I'm re-running one of our popular posts about managing conflict. What do you think about the subject? Let me hear from you in in the comments! Be back next Monday with an all-new post -- see you then.
Dear Debbie,
I know it's important to be a team player, but what do I do when I strongly disagree with a co-worker? How do I express my opinion without being viewed as a negative force?
When there’s a disagreement with a co-worker, I think it’s best to try to resolve it between the two of you first. I suggest that you have a conversation with him or her to get more information and justification for why he or she is taking their position. It’s entirely possible that, once you get more details, you may find out that you don’t disagree so strongly or perhaps you don’t disagree at all. If you are still at odds, determine where you differ. Do you really disagree about the issue at hand or are there personality differences at play? Knowing whether your differences are issue-related or personality-related can help you both tackle your concerns from the right angle.
If you disagree on an issue, you can come to a compromise based on the facts and how you each see them. If it’s a personality conflict, then have an honest discussion with the individual to unravel your differences and reach an agreement on how you can go forward and work together productively.
It’s important to try to do this first in a private setting so that you don’t have to air your differences in a group. If time is of the essence and you must disagree publically, do so calmly, diplomatically and professionally, leaving your emotions out of it. Remember, you are not always going to agree with your co-workers and there is nothing wrong with healthy dissension in a group.
Out of town on business this week, so I'm re-running one of our popular posts about managing conflict. What do you think about the subject? Let me hear from you in in the comments! Be back next Monday with an all-new post -- see you then.
Dear Debbie,
I know it's important to be a team player, but what do I do when I strongly disagree with a co-worker? How do I express my opinion without being viewed as a negative force?
When there’s a disagreement with a co-worker, I think it’s best to try to resolve it between the two of you first. I suggest that you have a conversation with him or her to get more information and justification for why he or she is taking their position. It’s entirely possible that, once you get more details, you may find out that you don’t disagree so strongly or perhaps you don’t disagree at all. If you are still at odds, determine where you differ. Do you really disagree about the issue at hand or are there personality differences at play? Knowing whether your differences are issue-related or personality-related can help you both tackle your concerns from the right angle.
If you disagree on an issue, you can come to a compromise based on the facts and how you each see them. If it’s a personality conflict, then have an honest discussion with the individual to unravel your differences and reach an agreement on how you can go forward and work together productively.
It’s important to try to do this first in a private setting so that you don’t have to air your differences in a group. If time is of the essence and you must disagree publically, do so calmly, diplomatically and professionally, leaving your emotions out of it. Remember, you are not always going to agree with your co-workers and there is nothing wrong with healthy dissension in a group.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Giving Constructive Feedback
Dear Debbie,
I am a relatively new manager and have little experience in giving feedback, especially when it involves difficult issues or performance deficiencies. How do you prepare for and deliver constructive feedback without hurting the relationship?
When you prepare for such a discussion, start by clearly defining the issue. Separate your emotions from the facts that you need to review and discuss. Emotions such as fear, anger, stress, and anxiety are a few that can be attached to difficult situations. While these emotions may be understandable and even justified, they won’t help you in solving the issues at hand.
Next, detail any and all performance deficiency specifics that are related to the issue. Look at this challenge in an objective, professional manner, focusing on the facts alone. Anticipate what the employee’s reaction may be and prepare your responses accordingly to keep the meeting on topic and on track. Have a written outline in front of you with the points you need to make and the goals for the meeting.
By preparing with meeting objectives and a clear agenda, you will be able to better control the discussion and accomplish what you had planned. Even though you may be dealing with negative behavior, it’s important to keep your tone and demeanor as positive as possible. Let the employee know that improvement is possible and what he or she must do to achieve it.
I am a relatively new manager and have little experience in giving feedback, especially when it involves difficult issues or performance deficiencies. How do you prepare for and deliver constructive feedback without hurting the relationship?
When you prepare for such a discussion, start by clearly defining the issue. Separate your emotions from the facts that you need to review and discuss. Emotions such as fear, anger, stress, and anxiety are a few that can be attached to difficult situations. While these emotions may be understandable and even justified, they won’t help you in solving the issues at hand.
Next, detail any and all performance deficiency specifics that are related to the issue. Look at this challenge in an objective, professional manner, focusing on the facts alone. Anticipate what the employee’s reaction may be and prepare your responses accordingly to keep the meeting on topic and on track. Have a written outline in front of you with the points you need to make and the goals for the meeting.
By preparing with meeting objectives and a clear agenda, you will be able to better control the discussion and accomplish what you had planned. Even though you may be dealing with negative behavior, it’s important to keep your tone and demeanor as positive as possible. Let the employee know that improvement is possible and what he or she must do to achieve it.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Networking
Dear Debbie,
There are so many networking groups in the area that I get a bit overwhelmed, feeling as though I should participate in all for fear of missing out on an opportunity. How do I determine which groups are worth my time?
This really can be a problem in today’s business world when the advice we get is to network, network, and network some more. Let’s face it, if you live in a major metropolitan area, there are multiple groups for every industry, sector, gender, and age from which to choose and participate. Ultimately, there aren’t enough hours in the day to join everything.
Give yourself permission not to accept every invitation to every function that comes your way. Like everything else in your time management tool box, you must be smart with your networking choices. It’s important to ensure a return on the investment of your time, especially in the areas of business and personal development.
So, here are a few things to think about when you decide which invitations to accept for networking opportunities. First, ask yourself what the demographic makeup will be in attendance. Will it be a group that is interested in your business? Will it be individuals that you can connect with for future business and for your own development? Most likely these questions will help you in effectively eliminating those invitations that likely won’t be productive for you.
Second, determine what your main purpose would be for attending a particular function. Is it to meet certain people? Pitch your business? Connect with future employers?
Once you identify the right group or groups for your networking time, look at ways to increase your level of visibility through leadership roles within the organization and speaking opportunities. These offer excellent opportunities for you to elevate your public visibility and name recognition, while increasing your self confidence and furthering your personal and professional development.
There are so many networking groups in the area that I get a bit overwhelmed, feeling as though I should participate in all for fear of missing out on an opportunity. How do I determine which groups are worth my time?
This really can be a problem in today’s business world when the advice we get is to network, network, and network some more. Let’s face it, if you live in a major metropolitan area, there are multiple groups for every industry, sector, gender, and age from which to choose and participate. Ultimately, there aren’t enough hours in the day to join everything.
Give yourself permission not to accept every invitation to every function that comes your way. Like everything else in your time management tool box, you must be smart with your networking choices. It’s important to ensure a return on the investment of your time, especially in the areas of business and personal development.
So, here are a few things to think about when you decide which invitations to accept for networking opportunities. First, ask yourself what the demographic makeup will be in attendance. Will it be a group that is interested in your business? Will it be individuals that you can connect with for future business and for your own development? Most likely these questions will help you in effectively eliminating those invitations that likely won’t be productive for you.
Second, determine what your main purpose would be for attending a particular function. Is it to meet certain people? Pitch your business? Connect with future employers?
Once you identify the right group or groups for your networking time, look at ways to increase your level of visibility through leadership roles within the organization and speaking opportunities. These offer excellent opportunities for you to elevate your public visibility and name recognition, while increasing your self confidence and furthering your personal and professional development.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Managing a Difficult Employee
Dear Debbie,
I manage a great work group except for one employee who is a chronic complainer and persistently negative. I tried once to counsel him as part of his performance review, and he badmouthed me to the rest of the group. What should my next step be?
This falls into the 80/20, or better yet, the 90/10 rule wherein 10 percent of your employees actually create 90 percent of your problems. This one employee, if left to his own devices, could potentially destroy your team’s morale and undermine your credibility in the process. Such dissent can also hinder your workgroup’s performance. There’s a lot at stake in this situation.
As the manager of the group, the sole responsibility for taking action rests with you. You basically have two choices: rein him in (have the employee change their ways), or move him out (either voluntarily or involuntarily).
With any employee issue, you want to identify whether the problem is performance related or behavior related. Once you determine which it is, your course of action will be much easier to define. In this case, the problem is clearly a behavioral issue which should always be dealt with in a swift and decisive manner. I say this because behavioral issues are conscious decisions on the part of the employee to behave in a certain way which is typically unacceptable to the organizational rules and values. A performance related issue, on the other hand, would be addressed very differently.
Your employee has chosen to be negative and to chronically complain. Even worse, he has chosen to behave in a way that is bordering insubordination by “badmouthing” you as his manager. The result of this behavior is damaging to the workgroup and to the company, which is unacceptable.
You mention that you have counseled him as a part of his performance review. Have you had a standalone discussion with him about only his behavior? Have you presented him with very specific examples of how his behavior is unacceptable and why it is a negative force for the entire group? If you have not yet had this specific discussion, then you should do so immediately. Be sure to document your discussion in detail. When you have this talk with him, you should include specific expectations that define exactly what you will and will not tolerate in his behavior going forward. Additionally, you should outline the next steps that will occur, such as a follow up meeting to gauge his performance and progress, and include the expected changes that you will be reviewing with him at that time. This puts the responsibility squarely on him to really think about and take steps to change his behavior.
I cannot stress enough the need for you to cite very specific examples of his negative behavior and how you would expect him to handle similar situations differently in the future. The hope is that you will be able to turn him around and see a marked improvement in him once you bring it to his attention and let him know the consequences.
Be aware that there will be times when an employee simply refuses to change. Either the person does not believe that there will be consequences or they are resistant to change at all costs. In this case, continue to document any ensuing meetings and your efforts to counsel him. If all else fails and you are seeing no improvement, then it may be time to terminate his employment. Allowing one person to adversely affect your entire workgroup simply isn’t fair to your employees, to you, or to your company.
Good luck – this is one of the particularly challenging parts of being a leader.
I manage a great work group except for one employee who is a chronic complainer and persistently negative. I tried once to counsel him as part of his performance review, and he badmouthed me to the rest of the group. What should my next step be?
This falls into the 80/20, or better yet, the 90/10 rule wherein 10 percent of your employees actually create 90 percent of your problems. This one employee, if left to his own devices, could potentially destroy your team’s morale and undermine your credibility in the process. Such dissent can also hinder your workgroup’s performance. There’s a lot at stake in this situation.
As the manager of the group, the sole responsibility for taking action rests with you. You basically have two choices: rein him in (have the employee change their ways), or move him out (either voluntarily or involuntarily).
With any employee issue, you want to identify whether the problem is performance related or behavior related. Once you determine which it is, your course of action will be much easier to define. In this case, the problem is clearly a behavioral issue which should always be dealt with in a swift and decisive manner. I say this because behavioral issues are conscious decisions on the part of the employee to behave in a certain way which is typically unacceptable to the organizational rules and values. A performance related issue, on the other hand, would be addressed very differently.
Your employee has chosen to be negative and to chronically complain. Even worse, he has chosen to behave in a way that is bordering insubordination by “badmouthing” you as his manager. The result of this behavior is damaging to the workgroup and to the company, which is unacceptable.
You mention that you have counseled him as a part of his performance review. Have you had a standalone discussion with him about only his behavior? Have you presented him with very specific examples of how his behavior is unacceptable and why it is a negative force for the entire group? If you have not yet had this specific discussion, then you should do so immediately. Be sure to document your discussion in detail. When you have this talk with him, you should include specific expectations that define exactly what you will and will not tolerate in his behavior going forward. Additionally, you should outline the next steps that will occur, such as a follow up meeting to gauge his performance and progress, and include the expected changes that you will be reviewing with him at that time. This puts the responsibility squarely on him to really think about and take steps to change his behavior.
I cannot stress enough the need for you to cite very specific examples of his negative behavior and how you would expect him to handle similar situations differently in the future. The hope is that you will be able to turn him around and see a marked improvement in him once you bring it to his attention and let him know the consequences.
Be aware that there will be times when an employee simply refuses to change. Either the person does not believe that there will be consequences or they are resistant to change at all costs. In this case, continue to document any ensuing meetings and your efforts to counsel him. If all else fails and you are seeing no improvement, then it may be time to terminate his employment. Allowing one person to adversely affect your entire workgroup simply isn’t fair to your employees, to you, or to your company.
Good luck – this is one of the particularly challenging parts of being a leader.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Making Successful Business Presentations
Dear Debbie,
Do you have any tips for making business presentations? I've been asked to give my first big one and I'm nervous!
Most people have experienced the anxiety, trepidation and fear that often precede public speaking, especially if it the presentation is to a large or influential group. The good news is that experience definitely helps and you will become more comfortable and self-confident with every presentation that you design and deliver.
It helps to remember that being nervous before speaking or presenting is perfectly natural. Even the most seasoned professional can have the jitters before delivering a large presentation. The key word here is preparation, and the more speaking experience you gain the more you will understand its importance. If anything, you want to over prepare and over practice. Knowing your material inside and out will help ease any anxiety that you feel, and will help you deliver a more polished presentation.
It’s also important to anticipate any controversial points or difficult questions that you may encounter while you are behind the podium, and plan your responses accordingly. The fear of the unknown is at the root of most speaking anxiety, so thinking through potential scenarios can be very helpful.
In addition to being familiar with your material, become familiar with your audience. Find out who will be in the room, what levels in the organization are represented, and why your presentation might impact them. It’s important to know your audience so that you can connect with them through your presentation. By researching your audience in advance, you can incorporate stories, facts, or examples that will resonate with them and connect to the points you wish to make.
I’d also advise you to keep your presentation as concise as possible. No one enjoys sitting through unnecessarily long, drawn out speeches. Think about the main points that you want your audience to remember, and then hit those points as succinctly and directly as possible. Have a handout that includes more detailed information for those who are interested.
Practice your presentation before a trusted colleague or advisor; preferably someone who will understand the material sufficiently to critique both the content and your overall delivery. Then, practice repeatedly in front of the best presentation tool of all – the mirror.
Getting your first business presentation under your belt is an important career milestone. I wish you the best of luck!
Do you have any tips for making business presentations? I've been asked to give my first big one and I'm nervous!
Most people have experienced the anxiety, trepidation and fear that often precede public speaking, especially if it the presentation is to a large or influential group. The good news is that experience definitely helps and you will become more comfortable and self-confident with every presentation that you design and deliver.
It helps to remember that being nervous before speaking or presenting is perfectly natural. Even the most seasoned professional can have the jitters before delivering a large presentation. The key word here is preparation, and the more speaking experience you gain the more you will understand its importance. If anything, you want to over prepare and over practice. Knowing your material inside and out will help ease any anxiety that you feel, and will help you deliver a more polished presentation.
It’s also important to anticipate any controversial points or difficult questions that you may encounter while you are behind the podium, and plan your responses accordingly. The fear of the unknown is at the root of most speaking anxiety, so thinking through potential scenarios can be very helpful.
In addition to being familiar with your material, become familiar with your audience. Find out who will be in the room, what levels in the organization are represented, and why your presentation might impact them. It’s important to know your audience so that you can connect with them through your presentation. By researching your audience in advance, you can incorporate stories, facts, or examples that will resonate with them and connect to the points you wish to make.
I’d also advise you to keep your presentation as concise as possible. No one enjoys sitting through unnecessarily long, drawn out speeches. Think about the main points that you want your audience to remember, and then hit those points as succinctly and directly as possible. Have a handout that includes more detailed information for those who are interested.
Practice your presentation before a trusted colleague or advisor; preferably someone who will understand the material sufficiently to critique both the content and your overall delivery. Then, practice repeatedly in front of the best presentation tool of all – the mirror.
Getting your first business presentation under your belt is an important career milestone. I wish you the best of luck!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Business Casual Attire and Professionalism
Dear Debbie,
What are your thoughts about business casual attire? My company is switching over and I'm unsure whether to change the way I dress and whether it will make me seem less professional.
This is a great question, especially for women. I have had this conversation with other women often in the last several years as more businesses relax their dress codes. I, along with probably every other professional woman out there, have struggled with what to wear to work. Everyone runs the risk of seeming less professional if their attire choices are wrong, but the stakes do seem to be higher for women.
Let’s look at the differences at play for men and women when it comes to business casual attire. Clothing decisions can be simple for men because they do not have a wide array of clothing choices. Yes, they have different slacks and shirts but their main decision basically boils down to, “Which pants and what color golf shirt should I wear today?” For men, typically a pair of khakis and a golf shirt or open collar shirt is what constitutes acceptable business casual dress.
Women, on the other hand, have so many options that the definition of business casual can become muddled. Does business casual mean skirts or pants? Short sleeves, long sleeves, or sleeveless? Close toed shoes, open toed shoes, or sandals? How low cut should my blouses be? How much jewelry, if any, can I wear?
First, check your company policy closely and always abide by it, even if others don’t. Within those parameters, I advise women across the board in all industries and professions to play it safe with dress decisions. When in doubt, go with the safer choice. If something has even a remote chance of making you or others feel uncomfortable, don’t wear it to work.
While I like the idea of casual dress, when you are representing your company in front of clients or the public, you should be in traditional business attire. In addition to showing respect to your clients and to your company -- you just never know who you might be introduced to or run into as you are out and about!
What are your thoughts about business casual attire? My company is switching over and I'm unsure whether to change the way I dress and whether it will make me seem less professional.
This is a great question, especially for women. I have had this conversation with other women often in the last several years as more businesses relax their dress codes. I, along with probably every other professional woman out there, have struggled with what to wear to work. Everyone runs the risk of seeming less professional if their attire choices are wrong, but the stakes do seem to be higher for women.
Let’s look at the differences at play for men and women when it comes to business casual attire. Clothing decisions can be simple for men because they do not have a wide array of clothing choices. Yes, they have different slacks and shirts but their main decision basically boils down to, “Which pants and what color golf shirt should I wear today?” For men, typically a pair of khakis and a golf shirt or open collar shirt is what constitutes acceptable business casual dress.
Women, on the other hand, have so many options that the definition of business casual can become muddled. Does business casual mean skirts or pants? Short sleeves, long sleeves, or sleeveless? Close toed shoes, open toed shoes, or sandals? How low cut should my blouses be? How much jewelry, if any, can I wear?
First, check your company policy closely and always abide by it, even if others don’t. Within those parameters, I advise women across the board in all industries and professions to play it safe with dress decisions. When in doubt, go with the safer choice. If something has even a remote chance of making you or others feel uncomfortable, don’t wear it to work.
While I like the idea of casual dress, when you are representing your company in front of clients or the public, you should be in traditional business attire. In addition to showing respect to your clients and to your company -- you just never know who you might be introduced to or run into as you are out and about!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Aging and the Fast Track
Dear Debbie,
My company is hiring all these younger employees, and I'm starting to feel outdated. How can I make sure that I stay on the fast track as I age?
Let me reassure you that you are not alone in feeling this way. For the first time in U.S. history, there are four generations in the workplace, working together as peers as well as managing each other. Much has been written about this mix because it has presented some new and different corporate dynamics. The wide range of ages can mean very different communication styles, workplace practices and diverse approaches to work.
I encourage you to really look at this as an opportunity for both your own professional and personal growth as well as a chance to mentor and advise younger coworkers. I especially encourage you to look at the younger workers as a resource for your own learning and development. Many times, older workers automatically feel superior to and maybe even annoyed by their younger counterparts. Open yourself up to truly interacting with these younger professionals by engaging them in discussions and seeking their perspectives. Far from being a roadblock to your success, they can help you stay current about the latest trends, especially if they are fresh out of college.
Try not to let you self be seen as “the elder” in the group. Instead, get in there and remain engaged at all levels with everyone. Remaining open to learning opportunities and to change is critical as you move through all stages of your career. Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of feeling superior simply because you have more years of experience. Staying curious yourself will make others interested in learning from you. A willingness to grow will help maintain your position as a key contributor.
It’s helpful to view the process of staying on the fast track as cyclical. The more you stay engaged in learning, the more you will have to offer which, in turn, makes you even more relevant and valuable to everyone in the organization. Your experience, combined with your willingness to continue growing, will make you a stellar employee at any age.
One last reminder – attitude is everything! Keep a positive, young-at-heart, inquisitive outlook about the world and your age won’t be a factor to anyone.
My company is hiring all these younger employees, and I'm starting to feel outdated. How can I make sure that I stay on the fast track as I age?
Let me reassure you that you are not alone in feeling this way. For the first time in U.S. history, there are four generations in the workplace, working together as peers as well as managing each other. Much has been written about this mix because it has presented some new and different corporate dynamics. The wide range of ages can mean very different communication styles, workplace practices and diverse approaches to work.
I encourage you to really look at this as an opportunity for both your own professional and personal growth as well as a chance to mentor and advise younger coworkers. I especially encourage you to look at the younger workers as a resource for your own learning and development. Many times, older workers automatically feel superior to and maybe even annoyed by their younger counterparts. Open yourself up to truly interacting with these younger professionals by engaging them in discussions and seeking their perspectives. Far from being a roadblock to your success, they can help you stay current about the latest trends, especially if they are fresh out of college.
Try not to let you self be seen as “the elder” in the group. Instead, get in there and remain engaged at all levels with everyone. Remaining open to learning opportunities and to change is critical as you move through all stages of your career. Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of feeling superior simply because you have more years of experience. Staying curious yourself will make others interested in learning from you. A willingness to grow will help maintain your position as a key contributor.
It’s helpful to view the process of staying on the fast track as cyclical. The more you stay engaged in learning, the more you will have to offer which, in turn, makes you even more relevant and valuable to everyone in the organization. Your experience, combined with your willingness to continue growing, will make you a stellar employee at any age.
One last reminder – attitude is everything! Keep a positive, young-at-heart, inquisitive outlook about the world and your age won’t be a factor to anyone.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Romance in the Workplace
Dear Debbie,
What do you think about office romances?
My short answer is that is it best to keep work relationships professional and to stay away from romance if you possibly can. However, having said that, sometimes things just happen when you work closely with someone in a demanding environment. Many successful personal relationships and even marriages have started as working relationships. Let’s face it, when you spend the majority of your time with the same people and you get to know them well, you inevitably like some more than others. We are, after all, human.
So while I suggest that you try not to complicate your professional life by mixing in a personal relationship, let me give you the dos and don’ts if you just can’t avoid it or if you’re already in an office romance. When you first sense that a relationship is clearly budding into something serious with someone in your immediate workgroup, I suggest that one of you begin immediately to try to transfer out of the group. The first step to take is to separate your working relationship from your personal relationship, especially if one of you is senior to the other.
If you are peers, it is not quite as complicated but it’s still not a good idea to work together. Resentment as well as issues of favoritism and unfair practices can, and usually will, arise when there are personal relationships within the workplace. These issues can have an adverse impact on reputations and can even derail career paths.
People love to talk, and a budding romance in the office is fabulous fodder for the gossip mill. Don’t let yourself be the target of rumors and innuendo that ultimately can negate your hard work and deter your long-term success. If you don’t wish to change your personal relationship, then it’s generally best for one of you to change jobs.
What do you think about office romances?
My short answer is that is it best to keep work relationships professional and to stay away from romance if you possibly can. However, having said that, sometimes things just happen when you work closely with someone in a demanding environment. Many successful personal relationships and even marriages have started as working relationships. Let’s face it, when you spend the majority of your time with the same people and you get to know them well, you inevitably like some more than others. We are, after all, human.
So while I suggest that you try not to complicate your professional life by mixing in a personal relationship, let me give you the dos and don’ts if you just can’t avoid it or if you’re already in an office romance. When you first sense that a relationship is clearly budding into something serious with someone in your immediate workgroup, I suggest that one of you begin immediately to try to transfer out of the group. The first step to take is to separate your working relationship from your personal relationship, especially if one of you is senior to the other.
If you are peers, it is not quite as complicated but it’s still not a good idea to work together. Resentment as well as issues of favoritism and unfair practices can, and usually will, arise when there are personal relationships within the workplace. These issues can have an adverse impact on reputations and can even derail career paths.
People love to talk, and a budding romance in the office is fabulous fodder for the gossip mill. Don’t let yourself be the target of rumors and innuendo that ultimately can negate your hard work and deter your long-term success. If you don’t wish to change your personal relationship, then it’s generally best for one of you to change jobs.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Mentoring
Dear Debbie,
A young woman at my company has asked me to mentor her and I've agreed. I've never mentored anyone before...do you have any advice for me?
She’s given you a great compliment by asking for your help. It is obvious that she admires you, looks up to you, and wants to learn from you. Mentoring can and should be very rewarding for both the mentor and the mentee and many times can lead to long-term, successful professional relationships. Think of this as an opportunity for you to grow as well a chance to positively impact another person’s career.
Look at the reasons why she has asked you to mentor her and find out where she specifically feels she needs guidance. I would start with a general discussion to find out how long has she been in the organization (if you don’t already know), her education and experience, and whether she needs advice on career opportunities or whether she is looking for a better understanding of what additional technical skills she may need to develop. These are the types of questions which will lay the groundwork for you to know what kind of specific help and guidance she is seeking.
A mentoring relationship should be one in which there is mutual respect and trust, and confidentiality is a must. Remember, your advice and guidance will help shape her thinking and will ultimately influence her future career path. My mentoring experiences have been very rewarding and afforded opportunities for my own growth as well as a chance to help others to grow. Be sure to watch for your own chances to develop through this special relationship.
Keep in mind that there will be times when simply listening is your primary role. Let your mentee talk through situations and decision making processes. There may be situations in which you simply offer your support and affirmation while other times you may be asked to provide input regarding difficult challenges. Keep in mind that you are the more experienced person in the relationship, and sharing your expertise is how your mentee will learn.
As I mentioned in a previous post about executive coaching, a mentoring relationship usually has fairly broad objectives. Be yourself, share the wisdom and knowledge that has supported you in your success, and you will be a fabulous mentor.
A young woman at my company has asked me to mentor her and I've agreed. I've never mentored anyone before...do you have any advice for me?
She’s given you a great compliment by asking for your help. It is obvious that she admires you, looks up to you, and wants to learn from you. Mentoring can and should be very rewarding for both the mentor and the mentee and many times can lead to long-term, successful professional relationships. Think of this as an opportunity for you to grow as well a chance to positively impact another person’s career.
Look at the reasons why she has asked you to mentor her and find out where she specifically feels she needs guidance. I would start with a general discussion to find out how long has she been in the organization (if you don’t already know), her education and experience, and whether she needs advice on career opportunities or whether she is looking for a better understanding of what additional technical skills she may need to develop. These are the types of questions which will lay the groundwork for you to know what kind of specific help and guidance she is seeking.
A mentoring relationship should be one in which there is mutual respect and trust, and confidentiality is a must. Remember, your advice and guidance will help shape her thinking and will ultimately influence her future career path. My mentoring experiences have been very rewarding and afforded opportunities for my own growth as well as a chance to help others to grow. Be sure to watch for your own chances to develop through this special relationship.
Keep in mind that there will be times when simply listening is your primary role. Let your mentee talk through situations and decision making processes. There may be situations in which you simply offer your support and affirmation while other times you may be asked to provide input regarding difficult challenges. Keep in mind that you are the more experienced person in the relationship, and sharing your expertise is how your mentee will learn.
As I mentioned in a previous post about executive coaching, a mentoring relationship usually has fairly broad objectives. Be yourself, share the wisdom and knowledge that has supported you in your success, and you will be a fabulous mentor.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Handling Difficult Directives
Dear Debbie,
I've been given a directive from my boss that I don't support. My team isn't going to like it, either. How do I deal with this in an honest way with my employees and yet be loyal to my boss and the company?
This is a tough situation that all leaders will find themselves in at some point in their careers. My first advice is to get as much information from your boss as you can. What is the rationale behind this directive? Is it strictly a business decision? Have all aspects of the directive been thought out thoroughly? Are the consequences clearly defined? Why do you oppose it and why will your team oppose it?
Gathering all the information that you can about the background of an unpopular directive will help you better explain and support it. If you remain adamantly opposed to it and cannot, after gathering all the facts, give your full support, think about whether you want to state your position to your boss in a one-on-one discussion with her or him. Maybe it truly is something that she or he has not thought through and your voice could give additional reason to the situation, perhaps even helping her or to shift their course of action.
Ultimately, it is your responsibility to execute the directive in a way that does not undermine your boss or company whether or not you support it. With your team, you should stand up and state the reason for the directive, explain all the facts, and stay focused on any upsides to carrying out the directive. You should never state to subordinates that you are being forced to implement a directive or that it is not your decision. Once you get to the point of conveying the instructions to your team, you should clearly take responsibility for doing so without ‘laying blame’ on others just because it is potentially unpopular. There will always be some positives in any situation, so identify and stress those. Especially in unpopular messages, always give your subordinates the ‘big picture’ explanation behind a directive, letting them know why it is important to the business and to the long-term success of the organization.
These are always difficult situations when you deal with them for the first time, but like everything else, with practice and a experience in navigating such problems you will handle tough directives with greater ease and success in the future.
I've been given a directive from my boss that I don't support. My team isn't going to like it, either. How do I deal with this in an honest way with my employees and yet be loyal to my boss and the company?
This is a tough situation that all leaders will find themselves in at some point in their careers. My first advice is to get as much information from your boss as you can. What is the rationale behind this directive? Is it strictly a business decision? Have all aspects of the directive been thought out thoroughly? Are the consequences clearly defined? Why do you oppose it and why will your team oppose it?
Gathering all the information that you can about the background of an unpopular directive will help you better explain and support it. If you remain adamantly opposed to it and cannot, after gathering all the facts, give your full support, think about whether you want to state your position to your boss in a one-on-one discussion with her or him. Maybe it truly is something that she or he has not thought through and your voice could give additional reason to the situation, perhaps even helping her or to shift their course of action.
Ultimately, it is your responsibility to execute the directive in a way that does not undermine your boss or company whether or not you support it. With your team, you should stand up and state the reason for the directive, explain all the facts, and stay focused on any upsides to carrying out the directive. You should never state to subordinates that you are being forced to implement a directive or that it is not your decision. Once you get to the point of conveying the instructions to your team, you should clearly take responsibility for doing so without ‘laying blame’ on others just because it is potentially unpopular. There will always be some positives in any situation, so identify and stress those. Especially in unpopular messages, always give your subordinates the ‘big picture’ explanation behind a directive, letting them know why it is important to the business and to the long-term success of the organization.
These are always difficult situations when you deal with them for the first time, but like everything else, with practice and a experience in navigating such problems you will handle tough directives with greater ease and success in the future.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Handling Anger in the Workplace
Dear Debbie,
What's the best way to handle anger in the workplace? Sometimes people and situations just make me plain mad and I know that I let it show.
First and foremost, while you are in the moment that angers you, it is imperative stay calm. Try not to let your anger show. If necessary, walk away from the situation and give yourself time to gain your composure before you attempt to address the situation. Reacting to any workplace situation in the heat of anger almost always ends in regrets.
Next, prepare yourself for situations and circumstances that have the potential to make you angry. Know yourself and know when, where, and who might provoke those feelings in you. You may not be able to avoid the people and issues that make you mad, but you can plan how you might react and what you might say. For example, think about a particular person with whom you interact who tends to trigger your anger. When you are in a calm and contemplative mode, work through a mental exercise of how this person makes you angry and envision ways in which you could better handle such a situation. Mentally prepare actions that you can take to keep your cool externally regardless of how much you feel like exploding internally.
Emotional intelligence and maturity are critical traits in leaders and professionals. Being able to control your emotions in volatile situations is a sign of emotional intelligence and maturity, and is something that you must learn about and practice regularly. As you rise to greater levels of responsibility and have more people reporting to you, this skill and trait will be every bit as important to your career as your technical skills are.
Remember, an outburst of anger will only serve to damage your reputation and will not serve to accomplish much other than that. Sometimes, reacting angrily can do irreparable damage to a a career. Recognizing that you have a problem with anger is the first step toward making constructive changes to deal with it. Good luck and keep working on developing your emotional intelligence and maturity.
What's the best way to handle anger in the workplace? Sometimes people and situations just make me plain mad and I know that I let it show.
First and foremost, while you are in the moment that angers you, it is imperative stay calm. Try not to let your anger show. If necessary, walk away from the situation and give yourself time to gain your composure before you attempt to address the situation. Reacting to any workplace situation in the heat of anger almost always ends in regrets.
Next, prepare yourself for situations and circumstances that have the potential to make you angry. Know yourself and know when, where, and who might provoke those feelings in you. You may not be able to avoid the people and issues that make you mad, but you can plan how you might react and what you might say. For example, think about a particular person with whom you interact who tends to trigger your anger. When you are in a calm and contemplative mode, work through a mental exercise of how this person makes you angry and envision ways in which you could better handle such a situation. Mentally prepare actions that you can take to keep your cool externally regardless of how much you feel like exploding internally.
Emotional intelligence and maturity are critical traits in leaders and professionals. Being able to control your emotions in volatile situations is a sign of emotional intelligence and maturity, and is something that you must learn about and practice regularly. As you rise to greater levels of responsibility and have more people reporting to you, this skill and trait will be every bit as important to your career as your technical skills are.
Remember, an outburst of anger will only serve to damage your reputation and will not serve to accomplish much other than that. Sometimes, reacting angrily can do irreparable damage to a a career. Recognizing that you have a problem with anger is the first step toward making constructive changes to deal with it. Good luck and keep working on developing your emotional intelligence and maturity.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Managing Conflict
Dear Debbie,
I know it's important to be a team player, but what do I do when I strongly disagree with a co-worker? How do I express my opinion without being viewed as a negative force?
When there’s a disagreement with a co-worker, I think it’s best to try to resolve it between the two of you first. I suggest that you have a conversation with him or her to get more information and justification for why he or she is taking their position. It’s entirely possible that, once you get more details, you may find out that you don’t disagree so strongly or perhaps you don’t disagree at all. If you are still at odds, determine where you differ. Do you really disagree about the issue at hand or are there personality differences at play? Knowing whether your differences are issue-related or personality-related can help you both tackle your concerns from the right angle.
If you disagree on an issue, you can come to a compromise based on the facts and how you each see them. If it’s a personality conflict, then have an honest discussion with the individual to unravel your differences and reach an agreement on how you can go forward and work together productively.
It’s important to try to do this first in a private setting so that you don’t have to air your differences in a group. If time is of the essence and you must disagree publically, do so calmly, diplomatically and professionally, leaving your emotions out of it. Remember, you are not always going to agree with your co-workers and there is nothing wrong with healthy dissension in a group.
I know it's important to be a team player, but what do I do when I strongly disagree with a co-worker? How do I express my opinion without being viewed as a negative force?
When there’s a disagreement with a co-worker, I think it’s best to try to resolve it between the two of you first. I suggest that you have a conversation with him or her to get more information and justification for why he or she is taking their position. It’s entirely possible that, once you get more details, you may find out that you don’t disagree so strongly or perhaps you don’t disagree at all. If you are still at odds, determine where you differ. Do you really disagree about the issue at hand or are there personality differences at play? Knowing whether your differences are issue-related or personality-related can help you both tackle your concerns from the right angle.
If you disagree on an issue, you can come to a compromise based on the facts and how you each see them. If it’s a personality conflict, then have an honest discussion with the individual to unravel your differences and reach an agreement on how you can go forward and work together productively.
It’s important to try to do this first in a private setting so that you don’t have to air your differences in a group. If time is of the essence and you must disagree publically, do so calmly, diplomatically and professionally, leaving your emotions out of it. Remember, you are not always going to agree with your co-workers and there is nothing wrong with healthy dissension in a group.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Gender and Language in the Workplace
Dear Debbie,
With a prominent female executive recently in the news for her high level termination and frequent use of profanity, what do you think about women cursing in the workplace?
This is an excellent question, but the answer is going to be a bit complicated since gender differences come into play. First, let me say that I do not know this woman personally, but I have read her biographical information and excerpts from interviews that she has given. It has been interesting that the two main themes in most of the reports about her firing have centered on her gender and her use of “salty” language. While the headlines focused on her language choices, buried in the stories was the fact that she failed to achieve the results expected of her.
I see several issues in this scenario – issues of gender, executive gravitas, emotional intelligence, company and brand image, as well as respect and trust. Let’s start with the gender issue. Much has been written about the fact that women are perceived differently than men, and I agree with this premise. Some people have even gone so far as to say that men can get away with certain behaviors, such as the use of foul language in the workplace, while women cannot. I agree with this also, but only to a limited degree. It’s not only bad behavior that can get women in hot water, but oftentimes it can be other variables combined with that behavior that leads to their demise. In other words, the bad behavior may be magnified simply because the person is female.
In this particular case, the woman involved did not mince words and was very public in her use of what many people consider to be offensive language. Here, we aren’t talking about the occasional slip of a word, but habitual crude language used in public interviews and settings. Foul language tends to convey high emotions or even instability, regardless of gender.
There’s an important distinction between speaking in public and in private at an executive level. In public, people usually do not know the executive and are forming an image and perception, whether the executive is male or female. How the executive speaks plays a large role in creating that image. In essence, an executive becomes the face of his or her company when speaking in public. Repeated use of foul language and poor behavior by both men and women undermines their own credibility and the credibility of their company. Such behavior also brings into question the executive’s judgment skills, emotional intelligence, and stability, all extremely important to long-term success as a leader.
A basic leadership trait, which is essential at every level, is an understanding of differences among people -- something that we call diversity. We all bring different skills, values, views of the world and expectations to the workplace. Great leaders must be able to speak to and consider all those differences, all the time. While some people may not find the use of foul language offensive, others will find the slightest use of questionable words or phrases very distasteful. So as a leader of either gender, especially at a high level, it’s important to consider these differences when choosing words. This is not to say that behind closed doors, and especially with close confidants, foul words may not occasionally fly. However, in public or around unfamiliar people, the smart leader chooses words carefully and keeps emotions in check.
Whether male or female, language is very much a part of our persona and image, especially in a high level leadership role. The language that a leader chooses should engender trust and respect, and should reflect that he or she is calm and capable, not volatile or emotionally immature.
Personally, when I hear foul language being used by someone I do not know, I immediately have a negative impression and automatically question the person’s judgment and intelligence. My advice to those I coach would be to save the salty language for outside the office. Inside the office, it’s important to be seen as articulate and as a good representative of the company’s values.
And, as the executive in the news stories learned, combining the public use of foul language with a lack of ability to achieve bottom line results is a sure recipe for termination.
With a prominent female executive recently in the news for her high level termination and frequent use of profanity, what do you think about women cursing in the workplace?
This is an excellent question, but the answer is going to be a bit complicated since gender differences come into play. First, let me say that I do not know this woman personally, but I have read her biographical information and excerpts from interviews that she has given. It has been interesting that the two main themes in most of the reports about her firing have centered on her gender and her use of “salty” language. While the headlines focused on her language choices, buried in the stories was the fact that she failed to achieve the results expected of her.
I see several issues in this scenario – issues of gender, executive gravitas, emotional intelligence, company and brand image, as well as respect and trust. Let’s start with the gender issue. Much has been written about the fact that women are perceived differently than men, and I agree with this premise. Some people have even gone so far as to say that men can get away with certain behaviors, such as the use of foul language in the workplace, while women cannot. I agree with this also, but only to a limited degree. It’s not only bad behavior that can get women in hot water, but oftentimes it can be other variables combined with that behavior that leads to their demise. In other words, the bad behavior may be magnified simply because the person is female.
In this particular case, the woman involved did not mince words and was very public in her use of what many people consider to be offensive language. Here, we aren’t talking about the occasional slip of a word, but habitual crude language used in public interviews and settings. Foul language tends to convey high emotions or even instability, regardless of gender.
There’s an important distinction between speaking in public and in private at an executive level. In public, people usually do not know the executive and are forming an image and perception, whether the executive is male or female. How the executive speaks plays a large role in creating that image. In essence, an executive becomes the face of his or her company when speaking in public. Repeated use of foul language and poor behavior by both men and women undermines their own credibility and the credibility of their company. Such behavior also brings into question the executive’s judgment skills, emotional intelligence, and stability, all extremely important to long-term success as a leader.
A basic leadership trait, which is essential at every level, is an understanding of differences among people -- something that we call diversity. We all bring different skills, values, views of the world and expectations to the workplace. Great leaders must be able to speak to and consider all those differences, all the time. While some people may not find the use of foul language offensive, others will find the slightest use of questionable words or phrases very distasteful. So as a leader of either gender, especially at a high level, it’s important to consider these differences when choosing words. This is not to say that behind closed doors, and especially with close confidants, foul words may not occasionally fly. However, in public or around unfamiliar people, the smart leader chooses words carefully and keeps emotions in check.
Whether male or female, language is very much a part of our persona and image, especially in a high level leadership role. The language that a leader chooses should engender trust and respect, and should reflect that he or she is calm and capable, not volatile or emotionally immature.
Personally, when I hear foul language being used by someone I do not know, I immediately have a negative impression and automatically question the person’s judgment and intelligence. My advice to those I coach would be to save the salty language for outside the office. Inside the office, it’s important to be seen as articulate and as a good representative of the company’s values.
And, as the executive in the news stories learned, combining the public use of foul language with a lack of ability to achieve bottom line results is a sure recipe for termination.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Preparing for Promotion
Dear Debbie,
My boss is planning to retire next year, and I know that several of us in the department will apply for his position. We all have about the same qualifications and experience. What can I do to make myself stand out from the pack?
Don’t assume that everyone knows you are interested in the position. Have a discussion with your boss and ask for his insight about being considered or recommended. Depending on the grade level of his position, there may be a formal succession plan in place, or at least some criteria that has been established, for selecting his replacement. If there is, you need this information so that you aren’t sitting on the sidelines assuming that it’s an even playing field when it may not be.
You also need to talk with your peers and other associates to evaluate the level of support you have for the position and what their thoughts are about his replacement. This may give you some information about what you may need to do in order to compete once the time comes.
In the meantime, work to stand out by going above and beyond in your regular duties and by accepting extra assignments, if possible. Volunteer to work on committees, task forces and community projects. Make sure that you are seen as someone who seeks solutions and consensus, and as someone who has strong leadership abilities.
My boss is planning to retire next year, and I know that several of us in the department will apply for his position. We all have about the same qualifications and experience. What can I do to make myself stand out from the pack?
Don’t assume that everyone knows you are interested in the position. Have a discussion with your boss and ask for his insight about being considered or recommended. Depending on the grade level of his position, there may be a formal succession plan in place, or at least some criteria that has been established, for selecting his replacement. If there is, you need this information so that you aren’t sitting on the sidelines assuming that it’s an even playing field when it may not be.
You also need to talk with your peers and other associates to evaluate the level of support you have for the position and what their thoughts are about his replacement. This may give you some information about what you may need to do in order to compete once the time comes.
In the meantime, work to stand out by going above and beyond in your regular duties and by accepting extra assignments, if possible. Volunteer to work on committees, task forces and community projects. Make sure that you are seen as someone who seeks solutions and consensus, and as someone who has strong leadership abilities.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Dear Debbie,
I am twenty-seven years old and have just been assigned to my first management position at the company I've been with since college. What advice do you have for a young, female manager who's just starting out?
First and foremost, be true to yourself and to those you lead. Seek input and solutions from your team members, not just from your peers and superiors. Always remember that you want your team in your corner because that is who will contribute to your long-term success. It’s very important to start cultivating these relationships right away.
Remember, you will make mistakes along the way, so commit to learning from them when you do. (I like to say that you should never waste a perfectly good mistake; each one should always teach you something!) Don’t hesitate to admit that you may not always know all the answers, especially as you get started. People will appreciate your honesty and will be willing to help you.
Always make it a point to mend any strained relationships as soon as possible. Burned bridges at this stage can haunt you for a long time. Since this is your first management position, keep in mind that you must earn the respect and the trust of those you lead, which in turn will create a personal power for you and will build your reputation as an effective leader.
This an exciting time for you, full of opportunities and challenges. Good luck!
Dear Debbie,
I have just accepted a relocation position with my company to take over a branch that has been male dominated for many years. Tensions are high, and it's apparent that I'm not being welcomed, either by my subordinates or by my peers. Can you help me?
This can be especially tough for female managers because it will really test your emotional and mental capabilities. Since you’ve recently relocated, chances are good that you don’t yet have a reliable support system in place. You want to build allies one-by-one as quickly as you can, always maintaining your cool composure and calm demeanor. (The old “never let ‘em see you sweat” adage applies here!)
Make it a point to talk with your team and your peers regularly and forthrightly, giving them the opportunity to see who you really are. Share with them your leadership philosophy and what you would like to see accomplished in the organization. And most important, let them know that you need their support to achieve the company’s goals and to make the branch successful. Bring them to your side of the aisle individually with cool strength, competent decisions, and a clear message.
Another old adage applies here as well – “kill ‘em with kindness!” You’re going to have to walk a fine line between being strong and holding people accountable without being too aggressive. In a situation like this, you truly have to be tough as nails emotionally and mentally to get through it and to become stronger for it.
You’re also going to need patience. I know, because I was once in a situation almost identical to the one you describe. It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t fun – but it ended up being one of the most rewarding management experiences that I ever had. I learned a lot about people, about leadership and about myself. You will, too!
Dear Debbie,
I have been promoted to a management position, and am now in the position of managing some women who have been my close friends. How can I get them to look at me as their manager while still preserving our relationships?
This is definitely a good news/bad news scenario. The good news is that your new team knows you and they obviously like you. The bad news is that you are now in a position to hold them to a standard of performance that not everyone may like. Although you didn’t mention it, there may also be some level of jealousy or resentment because you’ve been promoted over them.
I think that you should bring them all together for a frank discussion of the situation in a group setting. Start out by addressing the topic of your friendship and let them know how valuable their friendship has always been to you and still is. Stress that you need their support now more than ever. Ask them to understand that you are in a new position where, to be fair, you must separate friendships from work relationships.
You should ask them to work smart and hard for you, and pledge to keep the lines of communication open at all times. Help them understand that you will treat them all fairly and equally while working toward your goals in the workplace. It would be a good idea to address the subject of favoritism and to let them know that you will view them all as equals on the team going forward.
Give them a forum to express their feelings as well as any fears or apprehensions that they may be having. Make it clear that you expect to be a winning team, supporting each other along the way. Let them know that you are the same person that you’ve always been; only now you have a new set of responsibilities that you take very seriously.
Dear Debbie,
I'm a woman in my mid-forties who's stuck in middle management. I've applied for several upper management positions, in my company and outside, but haven't been successful and have rarely been called back for second interviews. Do you have any advice for me to help me advance to the next level.
First, you need to put together what I refer to as a “personal board of directors.” This is a small group (four to six, maybe more) of people who you admire and respect and who will give you honest input and feedback when you ask. This group should be comprised of both men and women representing a variety of backgrounds both inside your organization and from outside. You want successful professionals who understand how to navigate a career and who have more experience than you do.
These should be people with whom you are comfortable talking about almost anything, and people from whom you feel comfortable receiving constructive criticism. Go to them and ask how they see you and why they see you perhaps being stuck. Resolve to be thick skinned; you want to hear any negatives about yourself so that you can turn them into positives.
Research has shown that there are specific actions identified as “career derailers” that can hinder men and women in middle management. I suggest that you understand what those derailers can be so that you’ll know if you’ve hit one. In addition to your personal board of directors, have at least two mentors to help guide you – one within your organization and one outside of your organization, preferably one female and one male. You can have more, but two will be the most effective. Work with your mentors on developing the areas that you have identified as derailers or weaknesses.
Last, more and more women are seeking out executive coaches and this may be a viable option for you at this time in your career. This type of one-on-one coaching can be extremely productive for professionals in your situation.
Don’t give up! I think it’s a great sign that you are seeking self-improvement, that you have identified the problem and that you are taking steps to move forward. All these actions are traits of a good leader.
Dear Debbie,
How have you been able to balance your work and family life? I'm having a hard time!
This is the proverbial question that I get from professional women everywhere I go. It tells me that this is a universal struggle for women at all stages of their careers.
My first and most important response is that work/life balance is not a “one size fits all” solution. The definition of balance is very individual and personal. I always encourage women to closely examine what is important to them and to define what it means to them to have balance.
I have found that most women are caught up in trying to fulfill the work/life balance scenario that has been defined for us by external forces. For example, we’ve been told that work must be filled with regular promotions and kudos, that families must be perfect and happy, and that we should feel perpetually fulfilled, rested and happy, too. Whew! This is enough to make anyone tired . . . and frustrated . . . and disappointed.
So, look at your own set of circumstances and see what works for you today. Life fluctuates and we need to be flexible in our approach and expectations. Maybe for a couple of years you have to take an easier assignment at work so you do not have to travel and can be with your children in the afternoons. If so, be sure to stay well connected during this period and make sure that everyone knows you are not off the fast track but are cruising the sidelines, devoting more time to things outside of work for now . . . but not forever.
On the other hand, women in their forties and fifties may find tremendous freedom and more time once the children are leaving the nest, so they can put more into their work and go for the gold at this point in their careers.
The bottom line is to define what success means to you. What fulfills you? What makes you sing? What truly makes you happy at this time in your life? Great leaders will respect and admire you for your ability to define your priorities, and will see it as a strength that you can make tough choices.
Dear Debbie,
I've just been promoted to a management position. Should I put photos of my family in my office? Some books say it's not a good idea for women to do that. What's your opinion?
I don’t like starting my answer with “it depends” but it really does depend. There is something called situational leadership, which means that you have to assess your environment, the culture of the group you are in, and what the norms are for that group.
For example, if you are in a manufacturing/operational role where the setting is sparse and it’s not common to see anything of a personal nature in offices, then you have to ask whether it would be the right move to display family photos. On the other hand, in other business environments it may be the norm to see plaques, photos and personal items in offices and it would be perfectly fine to exhibit some yourself. A good suggestion would be to look at the office of your immediate superior and at the offices of your new management peers, see what they do and follow suit.
By the way, I do not think that gender dictates whether you should display family photos. What’s good for the man is good for the woman in this situation. At the end of the day, do what makes you happy as long as you don’t go overboard and aren’t violating any organizational policies or rules. There are some businesses that do not allow personal items to be displayed, so be sure to know what the guidelines are for your particular organization.
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