Gender & Language In The Workplace

Dear Debbie,

With a prominent female executive recently in the news for her high level termination and frequent use of profanity, what do you think about women cursing in the workplace?

This is an excellent question, but the answer is going to be a bit complicated since gender differences come into play. First, let me say that I do not know this woman personally, but I have read her biographical information and excerpts from interviews that she has given. It has been interesting that the two main themes in most of the reports about her firing have centered on her gender and her use of “salty” language. While the headlines focused on her language choices, buried in the stories was the fact that she failed to achieve the results expected of her.

I see several issues in this scenario – issues of gender, executive gravitas, emotional intelligence, company and brand image, as well as respect and trust. Let’s start with the gender issue. Much has been written about the fact that women are perceived differently than men, and I agree with this premise. Some people have even gone so far as to say that men can get away with certain behaviors, such as the use of foul language in the workplace, while women cannot. I agree with this also, but only to a limited degree. It’s not only bad behavior that can get women in hot water, but oftentimes it can be other variables combined with that behavior that leads to their demise. In other words, the bad behavior may be magnified simply because the person is female.

In this particular case, the woman involved did not mince words and was very public in her use of what many people consider to be offensive language. Here, we aren’t talking about the occasional slip of a word, but habitual crude language used in public interviews and settings. Foul language tends to convey high emotions or even instability, regardless of gender.

There’s an important distinction between speaking in public and in private at an executive level. In public, people usually do not know the executive and are forming an image and perception, whether the executive is male or female. How the executive speaks plays a large role in creating that image. In essence, an executive becomes the face of his or her company when speaking in public. Repeated use of foul language and poor behavior by both men and women undermines their own credibility and the credibility of their company. Such behavior also brings into question the executive’s judgment skills, emotional intelligence, and stability, all extremely important to long-term success as a leader.

A basic leadership trait, which is essential at every level, is an understanding of differences among people -- something that we call diversity. We all bring different skills, values, views of the world and expectations to the workplace. Great leaders must be able to speak to and consider all those differences, all the time. While some people may not find the use of foul language offensive, others will find the slightest use of questionable words or phrases very distasteful. So as a leader of either gender, especially at a high level, it’s important to consider these differences when choosing words. This is not to say that behind closed doors, and especially with close confidants, foul words may not occasionally fly. However, in public or around unfamiliar people, the smart leader chooses words carefully and keeps emotions in check.

Whether male or female, language is very much a part of our persona and image, especially in a high level leadership role. The language that a leader chooses should engender trust and respect, and should reflect that he or she is calm and capable, not volatile or emotionally immature.

Personally, when I hear foul language being used by someone I do not know, I immediately have a negative impression and automatically question the person’s judgment and intelligence. My advice to those I coach would be to save the salty language for outside the office. Inside the office, it’s important to be seen as articulate and as a good representative of the company’s values.

And, as the executive in the news stories learned, combining the public use of foul language with a lack of ability to achieve bottom line results is a sure recipe for termination.