Managing Conflict

Dear Debbie,

I know it's important to be a team player, but what do I do when I strongly disagree with a co-worker? How do I express my opinion without being viewed as a negative force?

When there’s a disagreement with a co-worker, I think it’s best to try to resolve it between the two of you first. I suggest that you have a conversation with him or her to get more information and justification for why he or she is taking their position. It’s entirely possible that, once you get more details, you may find out that you don’t disagree so strongly or perhaps you don’t disagree at all. If you are still at odds, determine where you differ. Do you really disagree about the issue at hand or are there personality differences at play? Knowing whether your differences are issue-related or personality-related can help you both tackle your concerns from the right angle.

If you disagree on an issue, you can come to a compromise based on the facts and how you each see them. If it’s a personality conflict, then have an honest discussion with the individual to unravel your differences and reach an agreement on how you can go forward and work together productively.

It’s important to try to do this first in a private setting so that you don’t have to air your differences in a group. If time is of the essence and you must disagree publically, do so calmly, diplomatically and professionally, leaving your emotions out of it. Remember, you are not always going to agree with your co-workers and there is nothing wrong with healthy dissension in a group.